Friday 3pm: A song comes on the radio that makes you giddy, you test the water by suggesting a destination in your mates group chat.You know if there is 2 quick yes replies its on. But wait… You’re working to 6, neither shower shaved nor tanned f**k it. Ill text the ole doll to stick the immersion on and get washed as soon as i get home.
6.10pm: You arrive home with the intention of jumping straight into the shower, dinners on the table ole doll is shouting at you till eat because she is sick of cleaning up your vomit (it will line the stomach sure) after devouring said dinner you sit on the sofa for ’10’ minutes to allow your food to digest.. The fires lit and its lashing with rain, your mates are still going so obvs you have to go.. FOMO is an awful thing.
7.30pm: You look at the clock.. Its 7.30, pre drinks are starting at nine and you still look like a drag queen. After peeling yourself off the sofa and de fuzzing yourself in the shower. You immediately lie on top of the bed for a while to compose yourself… And stalk your ‘man’. You quickly tell your mate your dressed and ready and just about to head out the door.
8.30pm: You see said man is not going out.. Is going out really going to be much craic?? Still.. Might find another mr right.
8.45pm: Your friend has just informed you that your friendly neighbourhood taxi man can take us to agreed destination but not take us home.. F**k it sure ‘we wont be stuck’
9.30pm: After finally getting your hair to look acceptable and firing on a bit of sally hansen leg makeup to your top half your ready to go to your mates for pre drinks
9.45pm: Arrive at said friends house and drink the head of yourself followed by a drunken sing along in the taxi to said destination
3.00am: All of a sudden its 3am you’ve been kicked out of the bar but its grand you’ve met the love of your life and he’s gave you his coat (what a keeper)
3.30am: You and your friends collectively decide to ring previous taxi man and every other taxi man then fight over who has to ring their parents.. All of a sudden a 206 with r plates shows up. I’ll pay you to take us home you shout (with absolutely no intention of doing so) everyone piles into car.. Including the band who you insist on taking back to a house party that doesn’t exist yet..
4.00am: After stopping at the 24hour for mixers and fags the drinks cupboard is open to display a vast amount of half full 10 glasses and of course there’s that bottle of that stuff an American brought us home.
Absolutely not a baldy am: The craic’s ninety, however at this stage you are down till the last bottle of alcohol and there’s no fags left.. You look into your friends bag and spy a sneaky 20 pack, your friend states there to do her all week.. Everyone else immediately dismissed said friends plight ‘its grand sure you’ve got 20’ and start to hand them out like a pedophile with sweets in a playground.
9am : All of a sudden its 9am and its time to retire to bed
Sometime later am: You wake up to what can only be described as a screen from a David Attenborough Documentary.. With many different species occupying a shared locality who are either; hibernating, searching for lost items, crying finding numerous cash receipts or desperately trying to find water to end the drought in their throats. You recognise your own kind and breathe a sigh of relief.. But who are these other creatures? Once the new super group of your old friends and new friends (after you subtly find out their names) are all awake you face one last decision when the boy you fancy says.. Who’s coming for the cure??
everyday20something 